{"id":3871,"date":"2022-12-23T16:36:41","date_gmt":"2022-12-23T15:36:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/?p=3871"},"modified":"2022-12-23T16:37:47","modified_gmt":"2022-12-23T15:37:47","slug":"roman-samotny-kde-hladat-silu-ked-na-nas-utocia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/roman-samotny-kde-hladat-silu-ked-na-nas-utocia\/","title":{"rendered":"Roman Samotn\u00fd: Kde h\u013eada\u0165 silu, ke\u010f na n\u00e1s \u00fato\u010dia?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Autor: Roman Samotn\u00fd<\/strong> \/ <strong>FOTO: Patrik Drot\u00e1r<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>Text sme prv\u00fd raz publikovali v \u010d\u00edsle Zima 2022.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Ke\u010f som za\u010dal robi\u0165 pred 10 rokmi prv\u00e9 p\u00e1rty pre queer \u013eud\u00ed, pravidelne som sa stret\u00e1val s&nbsp;t\u00fdm, \u017ee sa ma mnoh\u00ed p\u00fdtali, pre\u010do mus\u00edm robi\u0165 akcie ur\u010den\u00e9 pre d\u00fahov\u00fa komunitu, pre\u010do sa chceme takto segregova\u0165. Pripadalo im, \u017ee sa vlastne sami vylu\u010dujeme zo spolo\u010dnosti a&nbsp;upozor\u0148ujeme na na\u0161u odli\u0161nos\u0165 namiesto toho, aby sme splynuli s ostatn\u00fdmi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Faktom v\u0161ak je, \u017ee na\u0161a identita je in\u00e1 od tej v\u00e4\u010d\u0161inovej. D\u00f4vod, pre\u010do som sa pustil do queer akci\u00ed, bol teda ten, \u017ee som t\u00fa\u017eil po priestore, kde m\u00f4\u017eem otvorene \u017ei\u0165, k\u00fdm v&nbsp;skuto\u010dnosti som. A&nbsp;to \u017eia\u013e nebolo v&nbsp;t\u00fdch \u010dasoch ve\u013emi mo\u017en\u00e9 v z\u00e1sadnej v\u00e4\u010d\u0161ine priestorov na Slovensku. A&nbsp;dodnes sa to zlep\u0161ilo len mierne. V\u00e4\u010d\u0161ina z&nbsp;LGBTI+ \u013eud\u00ed m\u00e1 sk\u00fasenos\u0165, \u017ee mus\u00ed d\u00f4sledne zva\u017eova\u0165, za ak\u00fdch okolnost\u00ed m\u00f4\u017eu by\u0165 sami sebou, aby sa vyhli hl\u00fapym pozn\u00e1mkam, verb\u00e1lnym \u00fatokom \u010di dokonca fyzick\u00e9mu n\u00e1siliu. Hrozba r\u00f4znych foriem n\u00e1silia sa stala na\u0161ou ka\u017edodennos\u0165ou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Je to nie\u010do, \u010do je pevne zap\u00edsan\u00e9 v&nbsp;na\u0161ich mysliach a&nbsp;srdciach u\u017e od \u0161kolsk\u00fdch \u010dias, preto\u017ee men\u0161inov\u00e1 orient\u00e1cia alebo rodov\u00e1 identita s\u00fa \u010dast\u00fdm d\u00f4vodom \u0161ikany na \u0161kol\u00e1ch. Pam\u00e4t\u00e1m si u\u017e od z\u00e1kladnej \u0161koly, ako som po\u010d\u00faval, \u017ee \u201ebuzeranti maj\u00fa \u00eds\u0165 do plynu\u201c. A&nbsp;ja som akosi tu\u0161il, \u017ee sa ma to t\u00fdka, hoci som len za\u010d\u00ednal objavova\u0165, kto som. Sna\u017eil som sa skr\u00fdva\u0165 svoje t\u00fa\u017eby, preto\u017ee som sa b\u00e1l, aby som nedostal od niektor\u00fdch spolu\u017eiakov minim\u00e1lne po papuli. Moje jemn\u00e9 pohyby a&nbsp;nez\u00e1ujem o stereotypne chlap\u010densk\u00e9 veci v\u0161ak jasne d\u00e1vali najavo, \u017ee so mnou nie\u010do nie je \u201ev poriadku\u201c. S&nbsp;t\u00fdm za\u010dali prib\u00fada\u0165 aj slovn\u00e9 \u00fatoky. Pri slove pupu\u0161 ma dodnes strasie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do detskej du\u0161e sa tak\u00e9to poni\u017eovanie zahryzne ve\u013emi bolestne. Zaseje strach, ktor\u00fd v\u00e1m&nbsp; nedovol\u00ed c\u00edti\u0165 rados\u0165 zo \u017eivota. Alebo e\u0161te hor\u0161ie, mnoh\u00ed a&nbsp;mnoh\u00e9 obratia agresivitu z vonku smerom do vlastn\u00e9ho vn\u00fatra. Za\u010dne ich po\u017eiera\u0165 nen\u00e1vis\u0165 vo\u010di sebe sam\u00e9mu. Mne trvalo roky, k\u00fdm som si uvedomil, ako mi pokrivili tieto homof\u00f3bne \u00fatoky obraz o&nbsp;mne samom. Zasiahli m\u00f4j pocit sebahodnoty, \u010do v\u00e1\u017ene po\u0161kodilo moju schopnos\u0165 nadviaza\u0165 kontakt s&nbsp;vlastn\u00fdm vn\u00fatrom, a&nbsp;t\u00fdm aj pre\u017e\u00edva\u0165 plnohodnotn\u00e9 vz\u0165ahy s&nbsp;in\u00fdmi \u013eu\u010fmi. Vy\u017eadovalo si to ve\u013ea pr\u00e1ce, k\u00fdm som v\u00f4bec odhalil, ak\u00fd tie\u0148 v&nbsp;sebe nos\u00edm, a&nbsp;vyda\u0165 sa na cestu sebaprijatia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00dato\u010disko som sa sna\u017eil najprv h\u013eada\u0165 v&nbsp;partnersk\u00fdch vz\u0165ahoch, ve\u010f l\u00e1ska by mala predsa v\u0161etko vyrie\u0161i\u0165. Len\u017ee o&nbsp;t\u00fdch tepl\u00fdch vz\u0165ahoch sa v\u0161ade hovorilo len minim\u00e1lne alebo predov\u0161etk\u00fdm v&nbsp;zlom svetle, tak som akosi ani nevedel, ako to m\u00e1 vyzera\u0165 a&nbsp;\u010do je to t\u00e1 l\u00e1ska. Bolestne som sk\u00fa\u0161al, \u010do vo vz\u0165ahoch m\u00e1 miesto a&nbsp;\u010do je u\u017e naozaj toxick\u00e9. Nemal som ve\u013emi odkia\u013e odkuka\u0165 pozit\u00edvne vzory. V\u0161ade boli len pr\u00edbehy o vz\u0165ahoch, kde mu\u017e bol hrdina a&nbsp;\u017eena princezn\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sna\u017eil som sa h\u013eada\u0165 z\u00e1zemie aj medzi ostatn\u00fdmi gejmi, no spo\u010diatku som sa stret\u00e1val s&nbsp;t\u00fdm, \u017ee tepl\u00e1 sc\u00e9na bola rozparcelovan\u00e1 na skupinky, ktor\u00e9 si vz\u00e1jomne prek\u00e1\u017eali. Niektor\u00ed vraj boli pr\u00edli\u0161 vyto\u010den\u00ed, in\u00ed boli m\u00e1lo <em>posh<\/em>, \u010fal\u0161\u00edm prek\u00e1\u017eali lesby&#8230; Namiesto pestrosti som nach\u00e1dzal odraz v\u00e4\u010d\u0161inov\u00e9ho sveta, kde sa mnoh\u00ed sna\u017eili napasova\u0165 do stereotypn\u00fdch sch\u00e9m, ktor\u00e9 vlastne boli zdrojom ich utrpenia. Kruh n\u00e1silia pokra\u010doval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u017divot si v\u0161ak napriek v\u0161etk\u00fdm okov\u00e1m postupne nach\u00e1dza cesty, ako sa m\u00f4\u017ee prejavi\u0165 vo svojej pravdivej podobe. Korumpova\u0165 realitu sa nikdy ned\u00e1 naveky. Ako sme sa mnoh\u00ed postupne osme\u013eovali \u017ei\u0165 vlastn\u00e9 identity, tak prib\u00fadali \u010fal\u0161\u00ed, ktor\u00ed si rovnako sk\u00fa\u0161ali, ak\u00e9 je to \u017ei\u0165 slobodne. Krok za krokom sa sp\u00fa\u0161\u0165alo domino, ktor\u00e9 dl\u00e1\u017edilo nov\u00e9 cesty. Postupne som si za\u010dal uvedomova\u0165, ako sa formuje v&nbsp;Bratislave queer komunita, ktor\u00e1 u\u017e otrocky nekop\u00edruje nefunk\u010dn\u00e9 v\u00e4\u010d\u0161inov\u00e9 sch\u00e9my, ale&nbsp;prin\u00e1\u0161a vlastn\u00e9 rie\u0161enia, ktor\u00e9 maj\u00fa oporu v&nbsp;h\u013abke srdca. Fascinovane som sledoval, ako vznik\u00e1 nov\u00fd svet, ktor\u00fd aj m\u0148a pos\u00faval bli\u017e\u0161ie k&nbsp;sebe sam\u00e9mu a&nbsp;z\u00e1rove\u0148 bli\u017e\u0161ie k&nbsp;druh\u00fdm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do toho v\u0161ak bolestne vst\u00fapila poprava Mat\u00fa\u0161a a&nbsp;Juraja a&nbsp;postrelenie Radky pred Tepl\u00e1r\u0148ou. Na\u0161u t\u00fa\u017ebu po slobode hlboko zranil teroristick\u00fd \u010din, ktor\u00fd bolestivo pripomenul, \u017ee ten agres\u00edvny svet vonku, ktor\u00fd nami poh\u0155da, je st\u00e1le tu. Vr\u00e1tilo n\u00e1s to do minulosti, aby sa s&nbsp;tou novou hlbokou ranou otvorili v\u0161etky tie u\u017e takmer zahojen\u00e9. Don\u00fatilo n\u00e1s to op\u00e4\u0165 sa b\u00e1\u0165, za\u010da\u0165 sa op\u00e4\u0165 autocenzurova\u0165, ak sme chceli pre\u017ei\u0165 alebo sa aspo\u0148 vyhn\u00fa\u0165 n\u00e1siliu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tesne po \u00fatoku som sa sna\u017eil n\u00e1js\u0165 silu a&nbsp;odpove\u010f, \u010do m\u00e1m \u010falej robi\u0165, ako pokra\u010dova\u0165, ako sa neutopi\u0165 v&nbsp;tej bolesti a&nbsp;strachu. Cie\u013eom teroristick\u00fdch \u010dinov je prelomi\u0165 tabu n\u00e1silia. Aj&nbsp;mnoh\u00e9 v\u00fdskumy ukazuj\u00fa, \u017ee po podobn\u00fdch \u00fatokoch sa e\u0161te zintenz\u00edvni hlad po agresii a&nbsp;krvi a&nbsp;objavia sa \u010fal\u0161ie podobn\u00e9 \u010diny. B\u00e1l som sa, \u010do \u010fal\u0161ie sa m\u00f4\u017ee sta\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V&nbsp;tej chv\u00edli v\u0161ak za\u010dalo prich\u00e1dza\u0165 aj nie\u010do \u00faplne in\u00e9. Roky zasievan\u00e1 sloboda vykl\u00ed\u010dila vo vlnu solidarity. Bola to pr\u00e1ve queer komunita, v&nbsp;ktorej som na\u0161iel tesne po \u00fatoku oporu, ktor\u00e1 ma postavila na vlastn\u00e9 nohy a&nbsp;dodala mi silu pokra\u010dova\u0165. Bola to pevnos\u0165 na\u0161ich vz\u0165ahov a&nbsp;na\u0161a vz\u00e1jomn\u00e1 d\u00f4vera, ktor\u00e1 prelomila kruh n\u00e1silia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V&nbsp;tieni teroristick\u00e9ho \u00fatoku pred Tepl\u00e1r\u0148ou sa ukazuje, ako d\u00f4le\u017eit\u00e9 je budova\u0165 bezpe\u010dn\u00e9 miesta, ako nevyhnutne potrebujeme priestor, kam m\u00f4\u017eeme od\u00eds\u0165 od \u00fatlaku, aby sme sa zahojili, na\u010derpali nov\u00e9 sily a&nbsp;predov\u0161etk\u00fdm z\u00edskali kontakt s&nbsp;vlastn\u00fdm vn\u00fatrom. To n\u00e1m umo\u017en\u00ed st\u00e1\u0165 pevne v sebe a&nbsp;z\u00e1rove\u0148 otvori\u0165 srdce druh\u00fdm. Pr\u00e1ve vz\u00e1jomn\u00e1 d\u00f4vera je z\u00e1kladom na\u0161ej s\u00fadr\u017enosti, v\u010faka ktorej dok\u00e1\u017eeme napriek v\u0161etk\u00fdm \u00fatokom \u00eds\u0165 \u010falej.<strong><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Autor: Roman Samotn\u00fd \/ FOTO: Patrik Drot\u00e1r Text sme prv\u00fd raz publikovali v \u010d\u00edsle Zima 2022. Ke\u010f som za\u010dal robi\u0165 pred 10 rokmi prv\u00e9 p\u00e1rty pre queer \u013eud\u00ed, pravidelne som sa stret\u00e1val s&nbsp;t\u00fdm, \u017ee sa ma mnoh\u00ed p\u00fdtali, pre\u010do mus\u00edm robi\u0165 akcie ur\u010den\u00e9 pre d\u00fahov\u00fa komunitu, pre\u010do sa chceme takto segregova\u0165. Pripadalo im, \u017ee sa <a href=\"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/roman-samotny-kde-hladat-silu-ked-na-nas-utocia\/\" class=\"more-link\">&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":3872,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[261],"tags":[276,266,205,206],"class_list":["post-3871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-komentare-a-analyzy","tag-esej","tag-from-qys","tag-teplaren","tag-teplaren-cafe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3871"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3871\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3873,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3871\/revisions\/3873"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3872"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3871"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3871"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/duhovyrok.sk\/qys\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}